Monday, June 11, 2007

Guest Column: Katie's Mike Lowell Story...

So I'm on the phone at about 3:15 doing an exit interview with yet another disgruntled employee who is leaving. I always shut the door to my office when I'm on calls like this because, frankly, I work with retards who will stand in front of me the entire time I'm on the phone to wait for me to finish. I'm so glad that working in HR, my workspace is private and people respect the confidentiality of my role. Awesome!

As I said, I'm on the phone, and my door is shut. One co-worker barges in and tried to get my attention. I point to the phone and mouth "come back later". A second one does the same thing, followed by a third, fourth, fifth, and finally sixth. Through my window that looks into the hallway in my office, I see that a small group has gathered. Finally, Julia (the girl I share an office with) goes out into the hallway to see what's going on. Five seconds later, she walks back into the office, shuts the door, glances at me, and sits down at her computer. My outlook makes the noise that tells me I have a new email. I glance at the lower righthand corner of my screen where the "preview" feature comes up -- you know, tells me who sent it, the subject, and the first few lines of the email. There it is. Sent with high importance, from Ms. Julia, is an email with just a subject heading and no text:

MIKE LOWELL IS IN PLAYSPACE AT THE CHILDREN'S MUSEUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then she whispers something to George, the CFO who also shares our office and runs out the office door, leaving me with my mouth hanging open, not listening to a word that the person on the phone is saying. For all I know, she was telling me that she planned to hack into our payroll software and steal all of our money. I really didn't care; Mike Lowell was in the same building as I was.

So I start sending emails to George (it's basically a well-known fact around my office that when it comes to the Red Sox, I have a serious illness) asking where Julia went. He said that she went with the other people who were trying to get my attention to find him, and that if I wanted to go, he was pretty sure that he could arrange for the phones to go down (the CFO is also the Director of Technology. Yay non-profits!).

What did I do? Did I get off the phone, claiming some kind of gas-induced illness? No. I finished the exit interview.

Yes, perhaps I'm insane. One of the most bad-ass (not to mention handsome) Red Sox players in quite some time was in the Children's Museum. Working inside the museum sucks. I have to hear crying children floating up the vents into my office. I need to get on the elevator with maintainence staff who have barrels that smell like dirty diapers. When I get my morning coffee downstairs at ABP, I need to wade through groups of ankle-biters and rugrats who are so excited to get into the museum they don't speak, they scream.

Once I saw Walter McCarty in the elevator. That was cool. He's really tall. The difference between seeing Walter McCarty in the elevator and scouring the museum to find Mike Lowell is that I ran into Walter by chance. Had I run into Mike Lowell (notice I can't say Mike? He's always MikeLowell) in the elevator, I would have done the same thing I did when I shared an elevator with Walter McCarty -- blush profusely and stare at the floor while sneaking sideways glances at him. I just couldn't justify stalking Mike Lowell -- while he was at the CHILDREN'S MUSEUM with his kids on his off day -- so I could turn an unflattering shade of red. He wasn't going to leave his wife and marry me. He wasn't going to sit there and shoot the shit about baseball while his kids were rolling around in the ball pit, he was going to enjoy an off day with his kids.

So I did the moral thing. I let the man have his day off with his family and sat at my desk (ok, I may have gone outside and glanced through the windows once -- but I didn't see him). It always makes me mad when I hear stories of ballplayers who are out to eat, or out having a drink and obnoxious drunk fans come up to them and interrupt whatever it is they're doing. They're out to eat or grabbing a drink after a long day -- just like you are. Leave them alone. If you happen to end up in the same place as them by chance (and if "chance" is defined as a great tip from a cabbie who tells you what hotel they stay at during away games, that's ok too), just be cool and let them do their thing while you do yours. If they seem approachable and friendly and you're feeling bold, go for it. Say hi. Steal sideways glances while you brush profusely and drink another Bud Light.

But Rule Number One of Professional Sports Players Stalking -- don't f**k with them when they're with their kids.

Soxgal: As we know, I work just two blocks down from Katie's work, and I think that you should all give me a little credit for not leaving a trail of dust behind at my desk. After all, he was with his kids. That, and I'm going to become best friends with him in Detroit.

91 comments:

Anonymous said...

buy ativan online ativan withdrawal time frame - lorazepam online cheap

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol overdose 50mg - tramadol hcl for dogs side effects

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cod online tramadol withdrawal no energy - buy tramadol for dogs

Anonymous said...

buy generic tramadol online buy tramadol with cod delivery - tramadol high forum

Anonymous said...

best buy tramadol tramadol-ratiopharm 50 mg kapszula - tramadol 100mg sr tablet

Anonymous said...

ativan online ativan overdose much - buy lorazepam online canada

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online no prescription easy overdose klonopin - where to buy klonopin online

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol mastercard tramadol online cod - tramadol hcl blood pressure

Anonymous said...

buy lorazepam online wyeth generic ativan - ativan withdrawal effects

Anonymous said...

cheap tramadol no prescription tramadol dosage pain dogs - tramadol 50mg how many to take

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online cheap tramadol online without - buy tramadol online no prescription

Anonymous said...

order tramadol online mastercard tramadol overnight fedex no prescription - best way buy tramadol online

Anonymous said...

tramadol no rx tramadol with high blood pressure - buy tramadol online overnight shipping

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol er - ultram online buy

Anonymous said...

soma online soma drug side effects - buy soma online usa

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online klonopin forum - klonopin weight gain

Anonymous said...

buy viagra online buy viagra online canada no prescription - viagra for women ssri

Anonymous said...

cheap ambien online ambien side effects weight loss - sleepwalking on ambien cr

Anonymous said...

sildenafil tablets best place buy viagra yahoo - best place buy generic viagra forum

Anonymous said...

ambien order online no prescription ambien 10 mg pink - buy ambien online mexico

Anonymous said...

buy viagra buy cheap viagra online with prescription - 100 mg viagra online

Anonymous said...

order klonopin online buy brand klonopin online - 2mg klonopin beer

Anonymous said...

buy ambien ambien overdose yahoo - ambien prescription price

Anonymous said...

buy cialis 20mg cialis online generic pharmacy - buy cialis canada paypal

Anonymous said...

buy viagra with paypal viagra buy genuine ru - viagra online canada with prescription

Anonymous said...

cialis online cheap cialis viagra levitra - buy cialis online cheapest

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online no prescription get over tramadol addiction - tramadol 750

Anonymous said...

viagra online no prescriptions generic viagra online canadian pharmacy - cheap viagra generic

Anonymous said...

order viagra online without a prescription how to purchase viagra in india - buy viagra singapore

Anonymous said...

buy viagra in usa buy viagra by paypal - viagra dosage bodyweight

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol 100mg online discount tramadol no prescription - tramadol withdrawal can't sleep

Anonymous said...

cialis online buy cialis online from canada - generic cialis online pharmacy reviews

Anonymous said...

cialis pharmacy should you buy cialis online - cialis daily use reviews

Anonymous said...

buy propecia propecia or rogaine - propecia side effects fatigue

Anonymous said...

tramadol buy buy tramadol united states - tramadol no prescription next day delivery

Anonymous said...

sildenafil tablets cheap viagra uk next day - viagra online fast shipping

Anonymous said...

buy viagra online reviews buy genuine viagra online uk - generic viagra issues

Anonymous said...

buy viagra pills cheap viagra online pharmacy - buy viagra online toronto

Anonymous said...

buy viagra online cheap buy viagra online canada - purchase viagra karachi

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol no prescription tramadol dosage in canine - buy tramadol 180

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol no rx tramadol hcl vs.tylenol 3 - tramadol 200 mg get high

Anonymous said...

propecia online pharmacy propecia yahoo news - cost rogaine propecia

Anonymous said...

can you buy tramadol online legally tramadol narcotic high - tramadol online 99

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50mg buy 180 tramadol online - buy tramadol no prescription online

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online no prescription tramadol zoloft taken together - tramadol dosage abuse

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cod illegal to buy tramadol online - tramadol online uk

Anonymous said...

buy retin-a online retin-a cream hairloss - retin a gel discontinued

Anonymous said...

buy propecia online propecia side effects how common - propecia 0.5 mg

Anonymous said...

buy generic tramadol tramadol addiction statistics - tramadol hcl no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online no prescription overnight tramadol dosage restless leg syndrome - tramadol 50 mg tablets for dogs

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol rx purchase tramadol dogs - where can you buy tramadol over the counter

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50 mg cheap tramadol buy - tramadol dosage for adults

Anonymous said...

buy propecia online order propecia online cheap - order finasteride

Anonymous said...

buy retin a retin a cream does it work - buy retin a micro

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online cod tramadol dosage for 20 lb. dog - tramadol hcl 50 mg get high

Anonymous said...

buy atomoxetine online strattera side effects bloody nose - strattera cymbalta drug interactions

Anonymous said...

cheap tramadol online order tramadol mastercard - tramadol hcl 100mg side effects

Anonymous said...

propecia online cheap propecia pharmacy - propecia results after 1 month

Anonymous said...

retin-a online pharmacy retin a cream is used for - retin a micro pump top uses

Anonymous said...

where to buy tramadol online tramadol withdrawal codeine - tramadol for dogs how much

Anonymous said...

generic viagra viagra purchase reviews - generic viagra in the united states

Anonymous said...

viagra 50mg viagra online manchester - cheap viagra online overnight shipping

Anonymous said...

generic viagra viagra quiz - buy viagra discount

Anonymous said...

cialis online cialis walmart - cialis medication

Anonymous said...

cheap viagra online generic viagra online overnight - viagra online reputable

Anonymous said...

generic cialis cialis daily study - cialis hypertension

Anonymous said...

viagra online pharmacy buy viagra eu - viagra online buy us

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription buy viagra johannesburg - where to purchase viagra in us

Anonymous said...

buy cialis buy cialis canada no prescription - cheap cialis prescription

Anonymous said...

cialis 10mg cialis online lloyds - cialis online from us pharmacy

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription buy cheap viagra online us - buy generic viagra using mastercard

Anonymous said...

generic cialis where to buy cialis in toronto canada - cialis daily generic

Anonymous said...

generic cialis cialis online deutschland - order cialis with paypal

Anonymous said...

generic cialis buy cialis online with no prescription - cialis 40 mg

Anonymous said...

buy cialis cialis online pharmacy reviews - cialis 30 day trial

Anonymous said...

viagra online generic viagra safe - how to buy viagra online safely

Anonymous said...

generic soma what drug classification is soma - cheapest soma online

Anonymous said...

buy soma online buy soma online with a mastercard - soma robes

Anonymous said...

buy soma online best place buy soma online - soma 350 mg street price

Anonymous said...

order retin-a online retin-a .1 uses - retin a micro reviews acne

Anonymous said...

soma without prescription soma effects - somamedication

Anonymous said...

buy soma soma pills book - generic soma imprints

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50 mg tramadol online usa - buy tramadol online cod only

Anonymous said...

can you buy tramadol online legally 50 mg tramadol vs 10 mg hydrocodone - tramadol 50 mg how many

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol 50 mg recreational - tramadol 50mg grasscity

Anonymous said...

cheap tramadol buy tramadol online yahoo - kind medicine tramadol hcl

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol with cod tramadol equivalent - cheap tramadol with cod

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol overnight delivery tramadol 50mg tablets what is it used for - tramadol hydrochloride 100mg used

Anonymous said...

tramadol buy tramadol online overnight - tramadol generic

Anonymous said...

tramadol online generic tramadol ingredients - tramadol 50 mg with alcohol

Anonymous said...

buy generic tramadol no prescription tramadol 50 mg cost - mail order tramadol