The Great Autograph Experiment

So, the other day I was reading my ESPN the Mag, and there was a section about the best way to get autographs. Now, I have to say, autographs have never done much for me. I'd much rather get my picture taken with the player then have them sign something that will end up in a photo album and then eventually get ruined when the basement floods.

In my autograph collection, I have Nancy Kerrigan (at Toys “R” us when I was maybe 12). (Funny side story, I need a piece of paper, so my dad handed me a notebook that we hadn’t bought yet, and I thought for sure I was going to get arrested. And then, my dad wouldn’t even buy the notebook that I had used to get the autograph, he just tore out the page and put it his pocket…and I was horrified we were stealing paper!).

My second autograph is ML Carr. My mom won some contest when she worked in the bakery at Shaw’s (I’m serious, she worked there). So my dad and I got to go play basketball on the court at the Garden. The real Garden, not TD Banknorth. This was the same year as Nancy Kerrigan I believe. Anyway, I used to get really nervous. So my dad lied to me and said he was taking me on a tour of a bread factory in Boston. Now, we never went to Boston, so this was a huge deal. So I got dressed up and wore like, a blouse and skirt and tights and dress shoes. And it turns out I was going to play basketball with the Celtics. There were a few other random people there from the Celtics, I don’t know who. So I just sat on the bench in my dress shoes, and watched my dad shoot hoops with ML. Who, I might add, was wicked nice. Anyway, my dad and I snuck off from the group to see the Celtics locker room. It was the offseason, so they were empty, but I did get to sit in Larry Bird’s locker. We went into the Bruin’s locker room too. And, I of course, thought for sure we were going to get caught and my dad was going to get arrested and I was going to have to call my mom to come bail us out. Also, on the way home, I dropped the autograph out the window and my dad had to pull the car over so I could pick it up. He almost killed me.

My third autograph is Jenny Meno and Todd Sand. They are figure skaters that never won much of anything except for the US title a few times. We had these awesome front row seats and I got to meet Jenny and Todd who were my favorites.

My fourth autograph is Tom Glavine. Tom was doing an autograph signing at the Burlington Mall and I took Paul and his best friend Chris. Tom was extremely nice, he took a picture with us, signed like, the 20 Tom Glavine cards we brought.

also, I did get every Disney character I could find when I went to Disney in 6th grade, and Cinderella's twice.

Anyway, that is the extent of my autograph collection. In the article in ESPN it mentioned Pat Neshek’s website. I linked to it last week, but it’s for autograph collectors, and they talk about who they’ve gotten autographs from, where’s the best place to get them to sign. One thing they were talking about was who you could write to, with a self addressed stamped envelope, and who would send your card or picture or whatever back. I read through them and was intrigued. Pat's site also mentioned this one, SASE Sports Sigs, which keeps track of what cards get signed and sent back. I knew my brother and I had a giant box of cards in the basement, so I’ve decided to try it out. I’m sending out 20 baseball cards to 20 major leaguers, a little note, along with a baseball card and SASE. I actually couldn’t find my baseball cards so technically I’m sending my brothers. I went through a few books and pulled out current major leaguers, and was surprised by how many players are no longer in the majors. So, I decided to send 5 to current Red Sox, 5 to current Yankees, and 10 to regular major leaguers. (they are the control group if I remember my scientific method correctly). I'm completely accepting of the fact that there is a very good chance I'm going 0-20.

I’m rambling today. Must be the ice coffee combined with the fact that it is FINALLY Friday.

We’ll start with the bad guys, move on to the neutral guys, and then onto to the good guys.

First up, Mr. Roger Clemens, (whose name I intentionally spelled wrong on the envelope for humor’s sake). I told Roger I liked watching him pitch as a Red Sox, and that “I hope your un-retirement works out just like I think it will”. As in, you average five runs and five innings a game while going 6-9. In A-Rod’s note, I wrote, “I really miss watching you play shortstop. I think that you would have been remembered as the best shortstop of all time”. Not that I would want to ruffle feathers between him and Derek. In Mo’s I told him that “Enter Sandman” was my favorite Metallica song and that I thought he was a great closer during the 2004 ALCS. In Jason Giambi’s, I told him I hope his foot heals faster than they think it will (because otherwise they will probably trade for Carlos Pena and I’d rather they didn’t). And, in Derek Jeter’s, I told him that he was a much better player than A-Rod. Those were very hard to write.

I told Barry Bonds that he has “set an incredible example for younger players”. If that’s not the truth. You too can cheat your way to 755.

Mike Sweeney, “you are my favorite player on the Royals”. That is 100% accurate. Of course, he’s tied with every other Royal for that position, but I left that out of my note.

In my collection (actually Paul’s collection), I found a sweet card with a very young Pedro and Ramon on it in Dodger Blue. Pedro looked badass and Ramon looked goofy and I’m pretty sure they both had mullets. I thanked Pedro for being so great for the Red Sox, and told him there was nothing like getting up in the morning and knowing we had Pedro going that night.

Edgar Renteira, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out here in Boston.” I am. Now I’m stuck with Julio Lugo who is more expensive and couldn’t hit his way out of a wet paper bag. I am sorry it didn’t work out. Your contract ends before his does.

Jason Schmidt and Randy Johnson got get well cards. I told Magglio Ordonez and Andruw Jones they were great outfielders and that I wished they had come up with the Sox. (Sorry Nancy).

I wrote to Pudge Rodriguez and told him he was a great catcher and congrats on catching a No-no and thanks for knocking the Yanks out last year.

Then came my notes to the Sox, which, were harder and took a lot more thought.

First up was Mike Timlin. I thanked him for ’04, and for being such a reliable set up man over the years and told him that us Sox fans were lucky to have him. (I left out that he makes me vomit slightly in my mouth)
I told Batshit Tavarez that it has been an absolute pleasure watching him this year and that we have the best #5 in baseball.

I told Manny that he was the best hitter I have ever seen (I sent him a card of him on the Indians, which, was the only one I have).

I confessed to Mike Lowell that he was my favorite Red Sox and that he really needed to resign with the Sox to keep my mental health stable. (well, I left out the mental health part, but I did tell him I hoped he’d finish his career with the Sox).

I thanked Tim Wakefield for being such a leader with the Red Sox both on the field and in the community.

So there the 20 are. I’m going to send them out with tomorrow’s mail, and we’ll see how many I get back.

Tonight we have Dice-K and Greg Maddux. I feel like I haven’t seen Dice-K pitch in weeks. I’m excited!

36-15!?!?

*Someone is going to be in the dog house.

*Trot Nixon deserves the tip of a dirty hat. The only other time I've heard applause that loud was when the Sox came back against the Yankees and Okajima got the save earlier in the year. It was awesome.

*The Sox right now, it appears, can do no wrong. Josh Beckett came back from his 15 days on the DL and got his MLB leading 8th victory.

*Roger Clemens will not make his first start against the Sox, and the Red Sox are skipping Tavarez's start to align their rotation against the Yanks. It will be Wang and Wake Friday, Moose and Schill Saturday, and Andy and Joshua on Sunday. Tavarez's next start will be against the A's on Monday, with Matsuzaka taking the ball the following day. (Also in there it says Ortiz took BP yesterday, but his hammy is still bothering him.)

Oh I love that dirty water...

Went to the game yesterday. Sometimes I swear you just know something good is going to happen. After standing behind home plate for most of the game, and my 13 year old cousin Ty decided to sneak down to the good seats. We ended up getting to 5 rows back for the whole 9th. It was unbelievable. In an inning where you needed everything to go right, we got everything to go right. I still have no idea why you would take Jeremy Guthrie out in that situation...he had only thrown 91 pitches! (but, thanks anyway Orioles, a good time as always). As for Josh, nothing worse than being at the game when something happens like your starter getting taken out early and having no idea what is going on.

*Also, a note to the media that seems to be annoying Mr. Ortiz. I want to make it clear right now, you make David unhappy or put him an a bad light, I will hunt you down, and I will hurt you, then, I will burn your house down. Okay? Just want to make sure we are on the same page here.

::looking cross-eyed at the headline writer for the Herald::

*The Lefty Nate Robertson (3-2, 3.43 ERA) against Dice-K (4-3, 4.80 ERA) tonight. And I will be in attendence.

*Katie pointed out that Rob Bradford is so my new baseball boyfriend. So, if you aren't reading his blog...well, you should be.

*Dan Roche, the genius behind the cookie contest, has this fun tidbit in his blog,

"Finally, I love what we heard coming from the clubhouse after the game. Josh Beckett says he turned to Tim Wakefield and they both said they were going to win the game early in the 9th. Meanwhile, Jonathan Papelbon told us on "Red Sox This Week" that he said to clubhouse attendant Pookie Jackson in the 5th inning, "I bet you 100-dollars we come back and win this thing". He was right on."

*Lots of good stuff from the other Sox bloggers out there...Chad Finn, Papel-Blog, Soxaholix, and Seth.

*I know this happened a bit ago, but could there be a tougher guy than Roy Halladay? He got his appendix out just after pitching a game? That is just crazy. Hallady out 4-6, Ryan out for the year...how long till the firesale JP?

*Debbie Clemens sells jackets...tacky, hideous jackets. Horrific even. I'll say it now sports gods. Roger injures something seriously or gives up 8+ run in the first inning and has to be taken out by Joe in his first start at Fenway, I will buy one of those horrible, disgusting jackets and wear it over my Red Sox garb to a game.

*Jim Leyland says that if the All-Star game was played today then Josh would be his starter.

*Brett Farve asked for a trade after the draft, then changed his mind. What? He wanted Randy?

Some links...

*Boston Sports Media has all the links from last nights win. Dice-K looked great and my love for Mike Lowell grows daily.

As far as the whole Barry Bonds debacle, Ortiz shouldn't be suprised where the Herald went with his steroids comments. And I think Curt was right both in what he said and apolgizing. As we know, the story is always about us.

*Dale Earnhardt Jr. is considering leaving Dale Earnhardt International because him and his stepmom can't work out a deal. Don't you think Dale Earnhardt Sr. should have had some kind of will about this?

*Roger Clemens is um, a little bitch. But you knew that already.

*Hanley Ramirez is nasty, but no one is noticing says Ethan J. Skolnick. Well Mr. Skolnick, I assure you, a small piece of my heart dies everytime he goes 4-4. Maybe people in South Florida don't notice, but I assure you, us Bostonians do. (not that that means I love Joshua any less).

*Torii "why the extra I?" Hunter made his number one web gem last night. Amandaa is going try and find some video.

*Buster Onley seems a little obsessed with the whole alcohol in the clubhouse thing. The Brewers are keeping beer in the clubhouse. There's a shock.

*A well done article on the Newbury College baseball team.

I don't know where this picture is from but it was posted on the comments of Surviving Grady yesterday and I thought it was funny. Jon Lester on the left, Chad Spann throwing the ball, and they look about 15.

I didn't catch a ton of the game last night because 1. I had to cook dinner because my mom is sick, and 2. It was the season finale of The Deadliest Catch. In case anyone missed it, Captain Phil won the most amount of crab, but Capt. Sig's boat made the most money per deckhand, and the Captain with the highest average crab per pot was Jonathan's boat, which had some good karma working for them after they saved that guy from the other boat. And, incase you were were wondering, me and Paul's favorite Capt. is Sig.

*The Sox brought their bats to Toronto and got Josh plenty of run support.

*Jemele Hill has a letter to God, ask him to stop Barry from breaking Hank's record.

*Ellis Hobbs is ready to go.

*Manny and Craig had a rough night for the Paw Sox.

*Bill took his lady friend to Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People dinner.

*Peyton got to go to the State dinner with the Queen?

*I kind of want this shirt.

*This is a few days old, but Vernon Wells sent this message on a baseball to some center field fans in Cleveland, "Dear Mr. Dork,Here is your ball! Can you please tell me what gas station you work at, so when you are pumping my gas, I can yell at you!!! Now sit down, shut up and enjoy the game.- Your favorite centrefielder"

Curt updated his blog to say what he had to say about CHB's misrepresentation of his quote.

His reaction is exactly what I was saying yesterday, in his position, what else would you have wanted him to say? "Well, we were going to win the World Series, but now, well, we're screwed!"
My favorite part of this is, "I’ll take the Texan we got and pit him against anybody in the game over the next 5-10 years. He’s special and starting to show people a glimpse of what he’s going to be."

Also, I agree with what SG said yesterday, "There's finally a villain on the 2007 Yankees. Just like the good old days. I was tired of talking myself into despising A-Rod and Posada."

"This is historic … who ever heard of a rat jumping ON a sinking ship?"

For those of you still at work, SG has a new blog entry on the fight this weekend and R$o$g$e$r signing with the Yanks, including my favorite line of the day above from the mailbag.

Surprise Surprise, Roger is a Yankee. I really didn't see him signing with the Astros again as they continue to get worse each year. And I never really saw him coming back here either. So the Yankees have the Rog, which, I'm not sure I could have ever been completely comfortable rooting for him anyway ever.

Roger is going to be making 4.5 million a month…

Or, $640,857 a start

Or, $107,142 per inning (if he averages 6 innings per start like last year)

Or, $35,174 per out.

That is just plain sick.

*Carl Pavano went and saw his BFF Dr. Andrews and is probably going to require season-ending elbow surgery.

*Lester is with the Sox and is going to be playing catch Tuesday in Toronto.

*The other day I was saying that the Futures at Fenway game was actually at Fenway. But it isn't, its being played at McCoy. Why do they call it that? I guess NESN is broacasting the game, but couldn't someone have come up with a better name for it?

*Red Sox fans...um, aren't amused.

*Rob Bradford's blog is awesome.

*Bruce from Boston Sports Media makes a good point here:

"Still officially "off" today, but couldn't help but post on this horrific misrepresentation in the Boston Globe today.

From the "and the media wonders why people hate them so much" category:
Dan Shaughnessy today:

After the Sox beat the Twins in Minneapolis yesterday, Schilling was asked his reaction to the Rocket's re entry into the Yankees clubhouse. Ever the blowhard, Schilling declared, "We don't need him" -- a comment of stupefying arrogance that is sure to come up a couple of million times between now and the end of the 2007 postseason.

What Shilling actually said (AP Story):

"It would have been nice to have him, but we didn't need him. We DON'T need him," Red Sox ace Curt Schilling said. "It's May, a long way to go, but I like the way this team is comprised right now. This team has incredible makeup, it's got great chemistry and I feel like we were a legitimate World Series contender without him, so it doesn't change my mind."

If there's any "stupefying arrogance" going on here, it's from Shaughnessy. This is exactly the kind of twisting of quotes and misrepresentation that the Boston sports fans have come to loath and despise from the knights of the keyboard. While admittedly most writers don't stoop to this level, writers like Shaughnessy poison the readers against all their colleagues."

*As if I didn't already love Gabe enough, this is from Peter Gammon's blog. "Someday, Gabe Kapler will manage the Boston Red Sox. He is starting in Greenville (South Atlantic League) on a five-year program to learn his trade and eventually get the Sox job when and if Terry Francona retires. This is what you need to know about Kapler. He approached one of his players, Zak Farkes, who happened to go to Harvard. "What is the best book you've read in the last year?" Kapler asked Farkes, knowing he is a voracious reader. Farkas identified the book, and Kapler told him he wanted to read it to better understand his player."

*Peter King as a new MMQB.

*We all know how I feel about him, but I mean, how great is Tom Brady? Tom restructured his contract so that they could add Randy Moss and still come in under the cap.

*Dan Shaugnessy says that love is blind when it comes to us Boston fans. Here is the thing with this article, he starts off strong, saying that we are blind when it comes to the Patriots acquiring Randy Moss, and that if the Sox had signed Barry Bonds this off season, we would have gotten on the bandwagon, and if the Sox sign Roger Clemens, then he'll go back to being the Rocket we all know and love.

First of all, on Barry, I will never, ever, root for Barry Bonds. It has nothing to do with steriods, because, who really knows who is on and who is off and who has been on the juice. Do I think Bonds cheated? Yes. Am I sure that all my favorite players never did? No. So, I don't hate Barry Bonds because he's a cheater. I hate Barry Bonds because he's a dick.

Dan then says to bring on Terrell Owens. Um, no, because Rodney already says that he would never let T.O. in the locker room. And, whatever Rodney says goes. (which, if anyone can find the Rodney quote about T.O. and wants to put in the comments, please do).

As for Roger, I think we've all accepted the fact that one stat is the most important to Roger, the $$. It was never about being a Yankee for Rog, it was about the $$. Sure he wants to be close to Koby, Kole, Krispy, Knight, Kreme, but, when it comes down to it, $20 mil for a few months work isn't a bad deal. I don't think its about the love of the game for Roger, I think its about a love of the zero's adding up at the end of his bank account statement. That being said, what team out there has a comparable rotation to Schill, Beckett, Dice-K, Rog, and Wake? Um, no one. For Roger, it's about the money, for me, a lowly entry level customer service rep making 30 grand, it's about walking into Yankee Stadium wearing my 2007 World Series shirt. And if Roger is going to get me there, well, I'm that easy. (But I will, under no circumstances, own a Clemens shirt).

As for A-Rod, I personally always really liked him when he was a Mariner and a Ranger. I think that he was stupid to give up the chance to be the greatest SS of all time to be a Yankee. I think it isn't his fault he signed that deal that would cripple any team's payroll not in NY or Boston. I think it would be hard for me to cheer for him. That being said, if Barry ends up hitting 777 and A-Rod can hit 778, I'd take it.

Then there is Bill Laimbeer and Ulf Samuelsson. Now, most of the time I don't pay too much attention to what goes on on Causeway Street, (except Disney on Ice, I love Disney on Ice). There aren't any NHL or NBA teams that I like more than the C's and B's, those sports just aren't quite my thing. But, I know two things. And that is that everytime a WNBA game comes up during a channel check and Bill Laimbeer is coaching, my dad makes a comment not appropriate for others ears, and that Ulf hurt Cam Neeley, and that the name Samuelsson still makes Bruin's fans everywhere cringe, so, to say that they could have suited up for the hometown team and been accepted, is well, bullshit.

And, also Dan, we didn't turn on Johnny, Johnny turned on us. We would have been fine if he signed with any of 29 teams. There's just one that isn't okay, and he knew that and did it anyway. I'm pretty sure I could live pretty well for the rest of my life on the 40 mil the Sox were offering, so, I'm sorry if I'm not oozing with sympathy.

Manny is Manny, you can either get annoyed when he doesn't run out a ground ball, or you can accept .300-35-120 and move on. Sometimes it is better to move on.

We can be negative about Randy and his past transgressions, or, we can trust that Bill and Scott knew what they were doing, and that Tom wouldn't go through the trouble of restructuring his contract for someone that wasn't worth the effort. Personally, I love the idea of Moss and Stallworth lining up on opposite sidelines and a fully healed Malroney in the backfield. Also, I don't agree with the fact that this move solidifies that Troy Brown is gone. Troy can play defense and our defense backs have't been the most durable in years past. If Troy wants to play, Troy will be on the Patriots.

*The Pats also signed a bunch of college undrafted free agents yesterday, outlined in Reiss's blog.

*Chris Carter says Randy will be fine in Foxboro.

*David Brown (who writes from some newspaper called South Coast Today?) has a good response to the media over reacting over the Patriots drafting /signing. (I really liked this one).

*Rob Bradford talked to Papelbon who, poor guy, only makes 400,000 grand this year, talks about his future with in the game. (He will be eligable for arbitration after 2008).

*Tavarez wants Dice-K to teach him how to throw a cut fastball. Edes also has this...

Papelbon's younger brother, Josh Papelbon, was not perfect in April, but he came close. The younger Papelbon, pitching for Single A Greenville in the South Atlantic League, had five saves, and held opponents scoreless in eight of his nine outings. He allowed three earned runs in the one outing he was scored upon, so he has an ERA of 2.61 . . . Sunday was Jacoby Ellsbury's first day off this season. The Portland outfielder has hit safely in a career-high 13 consecutive games, batting .404 (23 for 57). He has reached base in 23 straight contests dating to Aug. 27, 2006. His .455 average (30 for 66) leads all minor leaguers, and he ranks first in the Eastern League with 30 hits, 10 doubles, and a .507 on-base percentage. Ellsbury has started 15 of Portland's 16 games this season.

Think Lester and Josh hung out when he was in Greenville? I'd like to think so. Also, some weekend this summer we should do a little Portland Road Trip, and go shopping in Freeport. (Northface, Coach, and Dooney and Bourke outlet. What more could you possibly want?)