Monday, February 11, 2008

Has anyone seen my prozac? I usually keep it next to the vodka?

I'm back. I don't how long for, and how regularly I'll be able to post here, but as Katie said, I have a request -- could you please start blogging again? We have won a world series and lost a superbowl. and you have nothing to say?? seriously?!"

It's true. The 2007 Red Sox series was fantastic. It was a dream come true. It showed 2004 wasn't a fluke. It gave us more swagger. It started off with me coming very, very, very close to dying in Texas, not to mention warding off hypothermia and I came very, very, very close to commiting homicide in Michigan. I went to more than 20 Red Sox games and I will still probably be paying off my credit card for those games and the nights out after in 2012. It was full of the savvy veterans and lovable rookies. It was the walk-off from Manny while at the Baseball Tavern surrounded by a bunch of crazy drunkards and my 3 favorite drunks. It was sitting on the couch hungover in sweatpants and watching the Pat's dominance continue and the Red Sox beat the Angels again. It was somehow forgetting '04 and counting them out again having Papi remind me that he is a "bad" man. It was finding out after Pedroia hit like a rock star with the same broken bone that I made excuses for Wily Mo with. It was having them go to Game On after the game. It was Papelbon's dancing and Lester getting the win in Game 4. It was different too. I was 600 miles away. There was no parade and I had a to wait a week for the Championship Globe to be delievered. Still, it was fantastic and most certainly never gets old.

The reason I am starting with my final thoughts on 2007 as we look to 2008 is well, because I need to remember a time of happiness in my life. I am currently in the stage 2 of the Kubler-Ross model of grief.

1. Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening."
2. Anger: "Why me? It's not fair."
3. Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my children graduate."
4. Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
5. Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."

I am going to attempt to seperate my thoughts with colors, since I didn't do so with the English language.

I am angry. I'm angry at the playcalling, I'm angry at Tom, I'm angry at Eli, I'm angry that for the 3rd straight season, there is no Lombardi trophy coming back to Foxboro, I'm angry that David GD Tyree somehow kept that GD ball against his head and that Rodney who lives for that play and apparently HGH couldn't rip it away, I'm angry that Bill wore a GD red hoodie on the biggest game of the season even though we are Boston fans and we believe in things like fate, and karma, and grey hoodies. I'm angry we cheated, because we did, because Bill didn't misinterpret the rule. I'm angry at Josh McDaniels. Most days this season you could find me offering up my uterus to Mr. McDaniels. I'm angry that I had the fleeting thought of, "Screw it, I'm wearing jeans, sneakers, my Seymour jersey, and my Super Bowl hat to school tomorrow and I could care less about dress code,". I'm angry that I saw Peyton lose and never thought Eli would have it in him. I'm mad that I maybe am starting to like Peyton a little because he is kind of funny in a dorky nice guy way and and his mom was super cute on Good Morning America! or some bullshit. And I loved hating Peyton. And I'm angry that I don't get to love hating Peyton. I'm angry people are talking about pitchers and catchers. Like baseball is going to get me out of this. I'm angry that North Carolina doesn't have a professional baseball team. I'm angry that Bill was jovial last week. I'm angry that I think that Bill had a spot cleared off for his fourth Super Bowl trophy. I'm angry that he went to the locker room with a second left on the clock. I'm angry that I no longer feel invincible with Bill and Tom. I'm angry / afraid that someday I'll watch Tom in Canton accepting his jacket or whatever stupid crap they do there and under his name it will say, 3 time Super Bowl Champion, 2 Super Bowl MVP, one NFL MVP. And I'll be thinking back to the fact that it absolutely should have been four, and could have been five. I'm angry that 18-1 looks like shit. I'm angry that Tom is smart enough to not get his soon to be ex-girlfriend knocked up...dumbass. I'm angry that assholes bought shirts that said, "Perfection" after the regular season. Like that is perfect. I'm angry that Dice-K wears 18 because, seriously? That number has some scarring on my heart, k? I'm angry that my little punk 7th graders keep asking me if I'm still Patriot's fan. I'm angry that one of my kids, a Patriot's fan, asked me if I cried when they lost, and I said, "No", and he said, "Me either. Thought about it though". I'm angry that Kraft, LLC or whatever bullshit put in a licenese for 19-0: Champions, and whatever else other crap. Because heaven forbid they wouldn't have made enough money on the win. I'm angry that Eli went to Disney World. I'm angry that Michael Strahan never bothered to get braces. I'm angry I haven't been able to stop by KissMeSuzy because there is not a good natured bone in my body right now. I'm angry that I have seen that stupid freaking commercial with Eli 2892q30932 times. I'm angry that SG has kind of gone corporate-ish and was going to hang out with Tom after the game. He should know it's way more fun to sit across the martini bar and gaze akwardly. I'm angry that Junior Seau didn't get his ring, I'm angry that Tedi and Mike didn't get another. I'm angry Richard didn't show up. I'm angry I put ever single thing I own that says Patriots anywhere on it in a rubbermaid container in my shed. I'm angry that Randy Moss decided to stay home for this one. I'm angry that this was the event that finally forced me to retire my, "I hate Peyton Manning & Eli Sucks Too" shirt because it has brought me absolutely no good karma in any way shape or form. I should have known. Grey is so no my color. I'm angry that I forgot how much I loved "Free Fallin'" and that it was me, Katie and Erin's song on the way out at school, and that because I forgot how much I loved it I downloaded it and then realized what a freaking idiot I am and that I probably jinxed the whole thing. I'm angry that the Giant's wanted it more. I'm angry that we looked bored the last two games. I'm angry that it wasn't Brett Farve (although I'm sure poor Aaron Rodgers is not) and the good people of Green Bay, I am angry that last night, I just started thinking about the times we should have put it away and couldn't fall asleep till 1 and woke up at 5:30 still pissed and was at my desk at work at 6:15. I'm angry all that "In Bill We Trust" crap is done with because right now, I don't trust Bill to order me Chinese. I'm afraid he'll order me something bland and boring like brown rice and broccili instead of spicing things up with a little General Gau's. I'm angry I'm so sleep deprived that seems like a clever metaphor. And like touchingallthebases.blogspot.com said today, 18-1 is the new 1918. Now there is something I could do without. I'm angry.

I guess my next stage is bargining. I think I'll move quickly through that stage. Mainly because, we fucked it up so bad, what is there to bargin for? We didn't deserve it at all. It wasn't our game to win, it was our game to lose, and we did so, efficiently. Then I'll swing through depression. I got that going for me. Then finally acceptence. Seeing as how I still have 2003 ALCS nightmares and wake up with cold sweats from the AFC Championship in 2006, I have a sinking feeling this could take a while.

10 Reasons Why I have watched Richard Zednek get slashed in the carotid freaking artery at least 20 times:

1. I love crazy injuries. 2. I love blood. 3. He's okay. 4. I kept trying to think what me and Tim the trainer would have done if that would have happened to one of our hockey players or somehow a football player. I probably would have just passed out. 5. The amount of pints of blood that he lost! FIVE PINTS! holy shit. 6. I am not much of a hockey gal, but I love how it said the assistant GM and the assistant trainer stayed at the hospital with him 7. Buffalo has saved two professional athletes from possible death in the past 6 months. If I'm ever going to try skydiving, I'm doing it in Buffalo. 8. You know you are in some deep shit when the opposing team's doctor comes running up the ramp after you. 9. He skated off the ice? Seriously? Hockey players are so badass. 10. Not really related, but I was talking to my kids and I told them about being a fake athletic trainer and one of my 7th grade boys cut his hand (like, paper cut cut) and came into my room to have me put on the band aid because I "knew how do that type of thing". So don't most homosapians and a good amount of monkeys. You don't have to have a thumb to put on a bandaid.

PPS. How about Pierce beating the Spurs. Bet it was awesome. Of course I didn't see it because I get a Celtics game down here about once every 3 months...that makes me...

ANGRY.

Hope those 1700 words were everything you were hoping for KP.

3 comments:

Katie said...

THAT JUST MADE ME SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kate said...

I can't say I agree too much with the angry. Maybe because I was the only person I can think of that was nervous for the Super Bowl the 2 weeks before because everyone had it in as a sure thing. It's pretty simple 2 teams were on the field the one that played better for 60 minutes/got the best breaks/worked the clock would win. It was not us. It's over and we move on. I am sort of glad that we didn't get 19-0 now. It's crowded enough on the bandwagon and people hate us enough all ready. It would have been nice...but honestly they played like CRAP from Baltimore on. Not the same team that showed up in Sept and October. If they had been playing stomp em football ALL season, it would have been different. Football unlike baseball is a fast rip of the losing band aid. Sure it stings at first but you put a little moisturizer on and go on with your day. I love football but really let's face it baseball is my daddy. ::tips cap:: :)

Anonymous said...

dude. awesome blog. write more!

I feel bad for Pats fans.. I'm a Pats fan, a bandwagon, watch-em-at-the-bar fan, but by default because I only really care about baseball.. really..I quietly wait through the long winter nights for people to come back to the baseball discussions :) That being said, I started saying the Giants had a real chance after they beat Tampa Bay. Living in NYC, the support here started rising after that too. They were a lot like the Pats in their first win; they were beyond where anyone expected and had zero to lose. All the pressure was on the Pats, none on the Giants.

18-1 is pretty fucking amazing. They won more games than the Perfectly annoying '72 Dolphins. 18 straight. 18 straight. WHAT A SEASON.

Love & Happiness,

Mickey