10 Things I think I think...

Well, I’ve been a little bit MIA lately eh? I promise to never leave you alone on the trading deadline again. I left to go shopping with my mom yesterday morning and my cell phone was 100% dead, so, not realizing the significance of the day, I left it at home charging. A trip to Walmart, Homegoods, the dentist, Target, TJ Maxx, and Sports Authority later. I returned home to find a panic related voicemail from Katie telling me, “I really needed you to be at work today”, and about the Gagne deal. I will never again be away from the TV / internet on the 31st of July again.

Anyway, here are 10 things I think I think (again, sorry Mr. King) about the trading deadline, Celtics (yes, the Celtics!), Patriots and whatever topic I need to get to 10.

*I was surprised how disappointed I was to see Kason go. I was legitimately bummed out. The kid came up, pitched well, always kept us in it, and was very good looking. Everything I love in a starter. I wish him very good luck in Texas (except for the 9 games a year), and I would like to tell him, Kason, no matter what the bartender tells you in Texas, it is a not a “Texas Thing” to drink Jack Daniels, it’s an idiot thing. So steer clear of that. Also, steer clear of Clicks, and whatever you do, leave the Sooner’s flag alone. Oh, and try out the Cheesy Fries at Saltgrass.

*Welcome Eric. I am so happy to see you. It’s always a good thing when you can shore up a league leading bullpen. Gagne is a career closer, so having him for the 8th inning will be sweet. Think Papelbon will be a little bit more fired up to close out the game now that he has Eric in the bullpen breathing down his neck? I do. Also, I love how Gagne had a no-trade clause and an incentive laden contract and the Red Sox were able to get him here by saying, “We’ll pay all the incentives”. Loyalties run deep in MLB.

“So Paul, did you hear we got Simon Gagne,” Me
“Yeah, but I think you mean Eric,” Paul
“Yes, Eric Gagne, why do I keep calling him Simon?” Me

“I think he is some kind of figure skater,” Paul

*I am kind of disappointed we had to send Kason, and two minor leaguers to Texas for Gagne when we could have had him for the same money we paid Jo-it was fun while it lasted-EL. Happy Trails Jo-EL. Also, best of luck to Mr. Brendan Donnelly who will undergo Tommy John surgery.

*The biggest strengths and flaws of your team is always magnified in the playoffs. For example, the biggest flaws in the 2003 team was the inability to finish games and Grady Little, it showed in Game 7. The biggest strength of the 2004 team was the ability to come back, and it showed in the playoffs. The biggest issue of this 2007 club is the inability of the Sox to score with RISP. I swear it will kill me before this season is said and done.

*My fantasy team has been bit by the injury bug as of late and as of early. I currently have Curt Schilling, Joel Zumaya, Carlos Beltran, and Mike Napoli on the DL. I’m also down in the max number of innings for pitcher, so I decided to go out and pick up some probable’s to get some innings, so tonight I have Oliver Perez of the NYM and Boof Bonser of the Milwaukee Brewers. What could go wrong?

*After last nights two home runs, I can’t help but hope that Papi has maybe found his mojo. While David’s power numbers have been down but his average is up, you can’t help but miss that 9th inning feeling, when the Sox are down by two, and you start going the walk-off math in your head. Just so long as one person gets on, and then the next two strike out, we get to Ortiz. If the first batter walks, then the second person gets a fly ball, we only need a double from David and all will once again be right in the world.

*I can’t believe that Wily Mo is still a Red Sox, (although, how much fun was that catch / belly flop / face plant last night?). I am in shock really. I would have thought that we could have at least gotten a case of Gatorade for him. I mean, think how handsome he would have looked in a Kansas City / Texas / White Sox uniform.

*So the Celtics landed KG. I don’t believe it. I wonder if this was Ainge’s plan all along or if this just kind of fell into his lap. The press conference was jovial with the new, “Big 3” showing their smiles and uniforms. I hope that these three mesh as well on the court as they did in the press conference. I really hate to see Big Al go, but we have a chance to win now, and we had to take it. I really liked SG and Jackie Mac’s take on the deal. There is a buzz in Boston and it is about the Celtics, I didn’t think I’d see the day. I am not going to pretend to be a huge Celtics fan, but I’m a huge Boston fan. I am really excited for all those Celtics fans who are just plain giddy right now.

*Good luck Chad Scott with the rehab. This Patriots team has one huge ? and that’s the secondary, so it disappointing to see him go down. That being said, I don’t remember being much more excited for a Pats season. All is well in the New England sports world right now.

*Dear Asante,

I just wanted to write you a quick note to let you know that I am moving to North Carolina next week, which means I am an 8 hour drive from the Florida border then just a short 13 hour drive away from Fort Lauderdale.

I want you to know that I empathize with your plight for a long term contract, I do. NFL careers are fleeting. One neck injury could end it all. The thing is Asante, the Colts are the defending Super Bowl champs and this is completely, 100% inexcusable. We need to bring the Lombardi trophy back to our house, and you should want to do this for me. (And don’t think for a minute that I don’t understand what is like to be disrespected with a 7.2 million dollar offer, because, in the world of customer service and teaching, this happens a lot.) As your tattoo says, you need to, “Get Paid”. So really, I understand, I do.

But if you think that for one minute I’m going to stand by and watch you sit out till week 10 , you, my friend are mistaken. 7.2 million dollars is enough for your family to live comfortably for the rest of your life, and for the rest of your children’s life. So you are about to, “get paid”, so stop being a little bitch, sign the freaking contract, get to camp, talk to Gene Upshaw about getting the franchise tag removed from the next CBA and prove you are worth the $$. The thing is, I don’t think you are a franchise player. I think you miss tackles by always going for picks and I think that you are soft.

Right now, I’m speaking for myself, although Scott and Bill and I usually agree on things, so here goes. If you sit till week 10, we are using you at all this season, and we are franchising you again in 2008, and then if you don’t play till week 10, we are sitting you the whole season. Try getting a huge multi year deal on the open market with big guaranteed money after not playing for two years.

So go ahead, make a ½ million a game, win the championship sign with someone else in the off season and never so much as get a whiff of the Super Bowl again.

If you think I’m above duct taping you up, throwing you in the backseat and driving you to Foxboro myself, you are mistaken.

If all this seems a little bit over the top, I get a little testy when the Colts are Super Bowl Champions, okay?

Thanks for your time.

Sincerely,

Amanda

I should be back later with some massive links once I get a chance to read everything I missed the past few days.

Now, I would hate to be those people who are still complaining about the tuck rule. I would. That being said, Ellis Hobbs got a letter of apology from the NFL for calling an incorrect penalty on a play that eventually led to a Colts touchdown. So, I'm not going to whine, I'm not going to complain. I'm just going to say that Peyton's Super Bowl doesn't count and needs to be removed from the record books. That's all. The Patriots are free to play the Bears next Sunday, by the way.

Could HE be anymore dead to me?

Who can resist Chris Berman in a tux?

I hate the ESPY’s. I think they are annoying, contrived, meaningless, and a blatant display of self promotion. That being said, I usually really enjoy tuning in, because, despite all my pleas, paparazzi usually don’t follow my favorite athletes. So, the ESPY’s are a great excuse to tune and see what exactly your favorite athlete dressed up and it gives you a chance to check out what the wife looks like. This always leads to fun comments like, “She was cute when she was a freshman in high school I swear”, or, “Time to upgrade to the 2007 model”, or “We clearly have a child born three months after we were married”. Hey, I never said I was nice.

So today I’m checking in, and I see a headline Colts up for Six ESPY’s Vote Now! Now, I hate the ESPY’s. They are fake. They are made up. I would never vote. However. The Colts are up for six awards. We all know how I feel about the Colts. I don’t even want them wining fake awards. So I decide that in between ignoring my data entry, checking email, and checking Deadspin, I can surely find time to vote for the anyone other than the Colts to win the ESPY’s.

Here are the categories, nominees, and who I voted for in bold.

Best Male Athlete

Roger Federer (by virtue of elimination)
LeBron James (didn’t win it all – not getting my vote)
Peyton Manning (sucks – not getting my vote)
LaDainian Tomilson (said the Patriots had no class / stole someone elses nickname – not getting my vote)
Tiger Woods (golf is a hobby, not a sport – not getting my vote)

Best Female Athlete

Lisa Leslie (don't do the WNBA)
Taryne Mowatt (actually knew who this one...she was a very good pitcher for AZ)
Lorena Ochoa (same golf rules apply)
Candace Parker (was actually a little torn with this one; I watched more of the softball than I did the Woman's March Madness, so I went with Taryne, but Candace was a strong choice)

Best Team

Florida Gators Basketball (I have a gigantic Al Horford crush okay?)
Florida Gators Football (also a good choice)
Indianapolis Colts (I don't want to talk about it)
San Antonio Spurs (boring!)
St. Louis Cardinals (proved it's better to be lucky than good)
Tennessee Lady Vols (already skipped on Candace Parker, might as well keep it up)

Best Moment

Tiger Woods, British Open - Tears of Joy (gag me)
New Orleans, MNF, Saints Return to the Superdome (goosebump central)
Tony Dungy vs. Lovie Smith ("Tonight, we're all winners" commercial ruined this one for me)
Derek Fisher, father first, Utah Jazz (a very nice moment, not the winner)

Best Championship Performance

LeBron James (if you count the Eastern Conference Finals, "championship" I guess he wins)
Jimmie Johnson (who? driving? Nascar? whatever)
Peyton Manning (never heard of him)
Serena Williams (tennis doesn't do much for me)

Best Record-Breaking Performance

LaDainian Tomilson - 31 Touchdowns (best choice - I'm a hypocrite, I know)
Bob Knight - Broke Dean Smith's record for wins by a D-1 coach (eh)
Michael Phelps - Seven gold medals in swimming (impressive)
Kelly Slater - Won World Championship of Surfing (nice work if you can get it)

Best Breakthrough Performance

Kevin Durant (I don't have it in me to give him an award...stupid ping pong balls)
Devin Hester
Ryan Howard (has fallen off this year)
Morgan Pressel (golf rules still apply)

Best Game

Oklahoma State over Texas in 3OT
Colts over Patriots (fuck you)
Fiesta Bowl

Best Finish

Dodgers 4 HR's over the Padres
Kevin Harvick at the Daytona 500
Division II Men's Basketball Championship (if you haven't seen it, youtube it. Unbelievable)
Preakness

(**Quick interlude, I just had someone call for a user name / password from THE Ohio State University. That drives me up a wall. I am from, THE Assumption College)

Best Play

Boise State 2 point conversion vs. Oklahoma
Darrelle Revis' Return (I don't remember this, so it's not getting my vote)
Dwayne Wade Crazy Shot off the glass (they should really give you video, I don't know this one either)
Endy Chavez Catch (this was awesome, it was too bad they lost the game because otherwise it would have been right up there with Willie Mays).
Travis Pastrana Double Back Flip (eh, prob. not)

Best Coach

Billy Donovan (maybe if he didn't just dick over the Magic)
Tony Dungy (who?)
Jim Leyland (team unraveled in WS)
Gregg Popavich (NBA what?)
Pat Summit (May as well throw one the Lady Vol's way)

Best Upset

Detroit Tigers vs. New York Yankess (thank you boys)
Warriors and Mavericks
Gators and Buckeyes
Rutgers Scarlet Knights and Duke Blue Devils (all that Imus talk got on my nerves)

Best Sports Movie

Invincible
Pride
Talladega Nights (only one I have seen)
We Are Marshall

Best International Male Athlete

Roger Federer
Didier Drogba (I hate soccer)
Dirk Nowitzki (team rolled over to Golden State)
Albert Pujols (A-Rod Pujols Jeter is my favorite just outside Fenway shirt)

Best International Female Athlete

Justine Henin
Lorena Ochoa
Maria Sharapova
Annika Sorenstam (I know she plays golf, but so don't the first two, and something about Maria annoys me)

Best NFL Player

Drew Brees (holy moley! who got the joke?)
Peyton Manning (not!)
Larry Johnson (3 years left on your contract and holding out? You need a new agent Sir).
Jason Taylor (he'd look so handsome in a Patriots uniform)*
LT
Brian Urlacher (Paris Hilton? Really now Brian)

*There should be a write in option. Mr. Tom Brady please.

Best NBA Player

Carmelo Anthony
Kobe Bryant
Tim Duncan (when in doubt, I'll take the rings)
Lebron James
Steve Nash
Dirk Nowitzki

Best WNBA Player

Tamika Catchings
Lauren Jackson (she could suck, I hate no idea)
Lisa Leslie
Diana Taurasi (hate UConn)

Best NHL Player

Martin Brodeur
Sidney Crosby
Vincent LaCavalier
Scott Neidermayer
Bobby Orr

Best MLS Player (that stands for Major League Soccer; I had to look it up)

Landon Donovan
Jeff Cunningham
Christian Gomez
Matt Reis (he plays for New England. Who knew? Good luck Matt!)

Best Fighter*

Miguel Cotto
Randy Couture
Quinton Jackson
Floyd Mayweather
Manny Pacquiao

*I didn't realize how much typing this stupid idea would be. I'm getting tired fingers.

Best Golfer

Jim Furyk
Lorena Ochoa
Phil Mickleson
Tiger Woods

Best Driver

Dario Franchitti (I like him, he's married to Ashley Judd and she's great)
Jeff Gordon
Jimmie Johnson
Kevin Harvick
Sam Hornish
Tony Schumacher

Best Male Tennis Player

James Blake
Roger Federer
Rafael Nadal
Andy Roddick

Best Female Tennis Player

Justine Henin
Jelena Jankovic
Maria Sharapova
Serena Williams (USA! USA!)

Best Male College Athlete

Ben Askren (he's a wrestler who was 42-0, and he isn't someone who could have been a Celtic)
Greg Oden
Kevin Durant
Troy Smith

Best Female College Athlete

Monica Abbott
Kerri Hanks
Kara Lynn Joyce
Taryne Mowatt
Candace Parker

Best Male Action Sports Athlete

Kelly Slater
Ricky Carmichael
Travis Pastrana
Danny Way
Andreas Wiig

Just winners from here on out. This is getting ridiculous.

Best Female Action Sports Athlete

Sarah Burke (there were some other snowboarders and shit, whatever)

Best Male Athlete with a Disability

Casey Tibbs (he's in the armed services, how does he not get my vote?)

Best Female Athlete with a Disability

Jessica Long (how do pick?)

Best Outdoor Athlete

An angler, two mountaineers, a runner and a musher. I went with the musher, Lance Mackey.
Best Track and Field Athlete

Sanya Ricards (this is the nomination that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend, some people started filling out the brackets not knowing what it was, and they continue doing it forever just because...)

Best Jockey (I'm serious. This is a real category)

Robby Albarando

Best Bowler

Norm Duke (Obviously, with that name, he had to be a bowler)

Under Armour Undeniable Performance

Wisconsin Badger's Women's Hockey (why not?)

Hummer Like Nothing Else Award

Kendrick Smith, Running Back, Hughes High School. (Scored 9 touchdowns in a losing effort.)

So there you have it, the awards, the nominees, and the winners, or, my winners, who will most certainly not be the actual winners. That was fun ESPN. Let's do it again. Never.

For 200,000, Peyton can come to your birthday too!

This girl, the one wearing the couch fabric, celebrated her Sweet 16 with none other than your Super Bowl MVP and Cedric the Entertainer. For some more pictures, click here, and make sure you read the comments. My famous is, "Petyon's akward stage is between birth and death"- Cake or death.

*I don't want to be suspended for two months without pay. Just so you know, these are from Deadspin.com.

*The Celtics won again! 4 in a row now. According to Paul though, (as in, my brother), even if they win the rest of their games, they will still be one of the three worst teams, and therefore get two ping pong balls in the lottery thingy. (1. Kevin Durant please). Tony Massarotti says that is not the case. He's probably right.

*The Bruins beat the Canadians and Devils this weekend, and are now 4 points out of the 8th seed in the Eastern Conference.

*The Patriots had a VERY busy weekend, signing Adalius Thomas, Kyle Brady, and Sammy Morris. I am very excited. The Patriots also have Wes Welker coming to Gillette today. The NFL network was saying last night the Pats are going to offer him a 7 year 38 million dollar deal. Not that the length really matters in the NFL b/c you can cut a player at any time. John Tomase says that the Patriots will put a "poison pill" in the contract. And, we already knew this but, Tedy will be back. (which is good, b/c I love driving by his house on the way to Amy's). Tedy said, "“I feel great. I’m ready to play. I’m more hungry now than I’ve ever been. I want to win another championship.” I love him. (I don't usually like Karen Guregian but this one has some good Tedy quotes).

*In Red Sox land, Papelbon retired all 6 batters he faced, striking out 4 against the Twins. That is great news. Jon Lester is starting for the first time this spring against the Twins in the "B" game (mostly minor leaguers), while Joshua is starting the "A" game against the Dodgers. (Hi Nomar!).

*Forbes ranked the GM's in the 4 major sports. For the locals, Scott Pioli was 20th, Theo 30th, Mike O'Connell (formerly of the B's) 73rd, and Danny Ainge was 92nd.

Now, obviously they aren't going to get a list everyone agrees on, but Kevin McHale is first? When is the last time the T-Wolves won a championship? Have they ever won one? I'm not sure.

Billy King is 3rd. When was the last time the 76er's won a championship? I'm pretty sure Dr. J was still on the team. And, he should have gotten a ring out of the the Allen Iverson era.

And, everyone's favorite a-hole, Bill Polian is 9th. How do you put him 11 spots ahead of Scott? Where are his other two rings? I don't see them...Nope, not there at all. Just one. Actually, in the time it took me to write this post, Polian called up the league to complain he wasn't higher than 9th, and that he got nudged by the 1-8 people on the list.

Some other notes from the list, Joe Dumars is 15th...didn't the Pistons just go back to back? Terry Ryan of the Minnesota Twins is 53rd! 53rd and his team consistantly makes the playoffs and has talent with a payroll subtantianlly lower than the big spenders in the MLB. The GM of the Denver Nuggets name is Kiki. (just thought you should know). Also, I'm sick of hearing how much of a "genius" Billy Beane is. Again, show me the freaking rings. Oh, and Brian Sabean of the Giants paid Barry Bonds 18 million dollars this year when most teams didn't want him, 31. Isiah Thomas is 82 (I know SG will hate that one).

*UNC completed a season sweep of Duke. Tyler Hansbrough took an elbow to the nose and bled all over the place with 14.5 seconds left.

*The Patriots of George Mason are a win away from making the tourney again this year.

Here are some random things from today:

1. I wasn't overly impressed with Grey's Anatomy, and I'm not buying Meredith could just wake up and be fine after being without a heart beat for over an hour.

2. This morning at work was probably the slowest of my career.

3. I am dying for it to be 4:30.

4. I just had a buffalo chicken wrap from my company cafe and it was just like Charlies. I miss college.

Onto the links...

*Eric Wilbur has a great piece about a solider / Red Sox fan.

*David Oritz just gets more and more ridiculous.

*The U of Tennessee football coach is apparently a huge tool. No spring practice should ever start before April, and the fact that the NCAA does nothing to protect its student-athletes from ridiculous amounts of practices is horrible. How can you justify starting spring practice for FOOTBALL less than 2 months after the National Championship and 7 months before the first game. Somewhere in Tennessee there are some pissed off Student Athletic Trainers. I'll tell you that much. Also, from the useless information department, Danny Ainge's nephew, Eric, is the team's QB.

*Dominic Rhodes wet himself when he got pulled over. I'm not sure what is more fun, A-Rod missing sleepovers or the RB of the Colts peeing his pants.

*Old friend Trot Nixon is going to take it easy this spring trying to rehab, and we also learn in this article that Trot has "Dirt Dog" tattooed under his bicep.

*Good luck Corey. I hope you have a great retirement. Of course, if you sign with another team, you will be dead to me. But seriously. Good luck.

*SG has a quality article on the late Dennis Johnson.

All kinds of fun this morning (mainly because Papi came to camp yesterday and he's always good for a ridiculous quote or two.

*Curt Schilling told WEEI this morning that he would file for free agency after the season after being told by Theo yesterday that the Red Sox would not be offering him a contract before the end of Spring Training. Now, I love Curt, I really do, but I'm sick of hearing his voice. It's great that he doesn't want a raise in '08 and will be willing to play for 13 million, but its not crazy to think that the Red Sox will be hoping any one of a number of young pitchers will be ready by then to take over the 3, 4, 5 slots in the rotation, with Dice-K and Beckett (hopefully!) holding down the 1, 2. Curt also said he would not pitch for the Yankees, but I've heard that some where before.

*The Red Sox present David Ortiz with a truck yesterday, which, I guess is a gesture of, "We know you are a bargin at 13 mil, hopefully this Toyota will keep you happy", but I still find it bizarre that you would buy someone making 13 million dollars a Toyota Tundra truck. Maybe I just think that because my dad hates Toyota trucks and people who buy them (except David Ortiz of course).

David isn't surpised the Sox didn't trade Manny, "It’s hard to find a player like Manny. When you go out there, Manny’s got to be one of the best hitters in the game, no doubt about it. It’s hard to trade Manny because of his salary. It’s hard to get somebody when you trade Manny. That’s what’s been the problem…get what you deserve. Manny is still crazy I’m still babysitting him. Same thing,” Oritz


David wishes he was Japanese? “I always tell people that everyone looks the same to me in Japan,” Ortiz joked. “Which is cool, man because I wish we could be like that in the Dominican, so we can hide.”

*Manny is going to be late because he is going to a car show in Atlantic City this weekend. That and cough cough, his Mama is sick.

*J.D. Drew is going to wear 7, and DelCarmen is going to wear 17. I guess when you give someone 70 million dollars and a long term commitment you should let him wear whatever number he wants, but quite frankly, I don't think anyone other than Trot should be roaming RF wearing 7 next year. It's like showing up to your wife's funeral with your new girlfriend.

*PacMan Jones had $81,000 in a trash bag with him at a strip club where 3 people were later shot. I mean, I obviously don't have $81,000, but if I did, I imagine I wouldn't walk around with it in a trashbag. Also, I read something yesterday, but I don't remember the source, that Jones told one of the boucers he was going to kill him, and that bouncer is now paralyzed from the waste down. (he could be pretty screwed I think).

*Dwyane Wade dislocated his shoulder last night...Dr. SoxGal says he's out at least 6 weeks, although the Heat haven't said anything yet. In my four years as a make believe sports trainer, the nastiest injury I saw was a dislocated shoulder. Also, a dislocated should was the cause of the loudest scream I ever heard on a sideline. (although, in fairness, a torn ACL was close).

*Delonte West has lady friend issues, as in, she tried to slit her wrists and bit him.

*Peyton restructured his deal to save the Colts some cap space.

*This is from Sports Illustrated Magazine from the "Go Figure" section I read on the bus this morning. "2030 - Year in which injury-prone outfielder J.D. Drew will receive the final payment of his five-year, $70 million contract from the Red Sox if he misses too many games by 2010." 2030! From the time my kids are 3 all they are going to do is field baseballs and hit in a cage from the time they wake up till the time they go to bed. I'm going to make Serena and Venus Williams, Andre Agassi, and Tiger Woods' Dad, along with every other psycho parent look relaxed. My kids aren't going to have time for elementary school.

Well, that is all the news from the reputable sources like ESPN, Boston Globe and whatnot, I'll update later after I have read all my daily blogs.

Oh, one more thing, I went to Dunkin Donuts this morning, and ordered an ice coffee because I've been craving one for a while and it wasn't that cold out. And they made it with hot coffee (does anyone else know what I am taking about here?). I hate when they make it with hot coffee! It's not nearly as good and the ice all melts. They should tell you in advance that they are going to make it with hot coffee, so people can change their minds.

Actually, two more things. This one I just got courtesy of Katie P. Give credit where credit is due, that's my motto.

The Marlins won 78 games last year, with a $19.7 million payroll for a cost-per-win of $252,564 apiece.

The Red Sox won 86 games last year, with a $120 million payroll for a cost-per-win of just under $1.4 million apiece.