Do me a favor...google, "A Rod is a little bitch"

...how great is that. I'm so famous.

Thanks to Ashley for pointing that out!

Dear Thomas Edward,

Hi, how’s it going? I know you’re a little busy these days with Baby Brady and birthday celebrations and whatnot, but I just had to write you a quick little long rambling note. First, let me tell you a few things about me. When I get 12 cents in change, I think of you. When I picked up one of the new David Ortiz hats at the Reebok outlet the other day and realized that it had come in contact with an Indianapolis Colts Super Bowl Champion hat, I threw it back, and then went and washed my hands.

So, maybe right now, you’re thinking, “So, you’re completely out of your mind! So I have a Yankees hat on my head! Who cares? You shouldn’t care, just so long as I keep winning you football games.” And that theory is well as good, except you play football here. In New England. And I’m not your average fan Mr. Brady, incase you haven’t noticed. (although I know there are plenty out there like me). I worry constantly. I fret. I overanalyze. I was depressed for months after the AFC Championship loss. I didn’t go out to watch the Super Bowl (even though it is one of my favorite days of the year). My heart physically hurt and I thought I was going to be sick when the confetti came falling down in the RCA dome. I know enough facts about players on your team to write a book. I agonized over whether or not to resign Troy Brown like it was my decision. I believe that Scott and Bill can do no wrong, but Theo still makes me nervous.

But most of all, when all things are said and done. I love the Patriots and the Red Sox. And I hate the Yankees and the Colts. I love more than I hate, but I really enjoy the hating. So when you’re prancing around Manhattan with your Yankees hat on, it hurts a little. (I mean, how would you like it if David Ortiz started prancing around with a Colts hat on?). The Yankees fan in my office puts your picture on the bulletin board. I have to look at it. I hear about. And I don’t like it. I know you’re probably thinking, “but it’s just a hat”. But it isn’t just a hat to me. It’s painful and annoying and quite frankly, a little disrespectful to all those who cheer you on every Sunday, snow, rain, sleet or shine in Foxboro.

There are a lot of hats in the world. I even have some suggestions. You seem to love Europe, been spending a lot of time there with the gf and all, so what about a futbol team hat from Europe? You could be chic and stylish and not pissing me off all at once. Not much of a soccer fan? Me either. What about a Michigan hat? If you loved Michigan ½ as much as I loved Assumption, this should be a logical choice. I believe you to be sponsored by Nike. What about a nice little plain hat with a cute little swoosh on it? I’ve seen you in those Gap ads. What about a nice little “GAP” hat? I’ll even buy you and Baby Brady matching hats if you want.

Now, there is one scenario that I haven’t given much thought to. That you may, actually be a Yankees fan. Tom, this would hurt my heart a little. If they make you happy, then I’ll accept that fact. Maybe, you grew up wearing Reggie Jackson’s jersey. Maybe you know Roger Maris’ career stats. Maybe you are delusional enough to believe Roger Clemens is the second coming. However, if this is true. You may never wear a Red Sox hat again. (and I don’t want to see you taking BP in a Sox jersey either Mr. Brady)

There is only one kind of fan I hate more than I hate Yankees fans. And that, is the bandwagon fan. So, Tom, lose the Yankees hat, or lose the Red Sox hat. But don’t make me come down to Foxboro on Friday night and have a talk with you about this.

Love always,

Amanda

PS. Who runs in khakis?

The Great Autograph Experiment

So, the other day I was reading my ESPN the Mag, and there was a section about the best way to get autographs. Now, I have to say, autographs have never done much for me. I'd much rather get my picture taken with the player then have them sign something that will end up in a photo album and then eventually get ruined when the basement floods.

In my autograph collection, I have Nancy Kerrigan (at Toys “R” us when I was maybe 12). (Funny side story, I need a piece of paper, so my dad handed me a notebook that we hadn’t bought yet, and I thought for sure I was going to get arrested. And then, my dad wouldn’t even buy the notebook that I had used to get the autograph, he just tore out the page and put it his pocket…and I was horrified we were stealing paper!).

My second autograph is ML Carr. My mom won some contest when she worked in the bakery at Shaw’s (I’m serious, she worked there). So my dad and I got to go play basketball on the court at the Garden. The real Garden, not TD Banknorth. This was the same year as Nancy Kerrigan I believe. Anyway, I used to get really nervous. So my dad lied to me and said he was taking me on a tour of a bread factory in Boston. Now, we never went to Boston, so this was a huge deal. So I got dressed up and wore like, a blouse and skirt and tights and dress shoes. And it turns out I was going to play basketball with the Celtics. There were a few other random people there from the Celtics, I don’t know who. So I just sat on the bench in my dress shoes, and watched my dad shoot hoops with ML. Who, I might add, was wicked nice. Anyway, my dad and I snuck off from the group to see the Celtics locker room. It was the offseason, so they were empty, but I did get to sit in Larry Bird’s locker. We went into the Bruin’s locker room too. And, I of course, thought for sure we were going to get caught and my dad was going to get arrested and I was going to have to call my mom to come bail us out. Also, on the way home, I dropped the autograph out the window and my dad had to pull the car over so I could pick it up. He almost killed me.

My third autograph is Jenny Meno and Todd Sand. They are figure skaters that never won much of anything except for the US title a few times. We had these awesome front row seats and I got to meet Jenny and Todd who were my favorites.

My fourth autograph is Tom Glavine. Tom was doing an autograph signing at the Burlington Mall and I took Paul and his best friend Chris. Tom was extremely nice, he took a picture with us, signed like, the 20 Tom Glavine cards we brought.

also, I did get every Disney character I could find when I went to Disney in 6th grade, and Cinderella's twice.

Anyway, that is the extent of my autograph collection. In the article in ESPN it mentioned Pat Neshek’s website. I linked to it last week, but it’s for autograph collectors, and they talk about who they’ve gotten autographs from, where’s the best place to get them to sign. One thing they were talking about was who you could write to, with a self addressed stamped envelope, and who would send your card or picture or whatever back. I read through them and was intrigued. Pat's site also mentioned this one, SASE Sports Sigs, which keeps track of what cards get signed and sent back. I knew my brother and I had a giant box of cards in the basement, so I’ve decided to try it out. I’m sending out 20 baseball cards to 20 major leaguers, a little note, along with a baseball card and SASE. I actually couldn’t find my baseball cards so technically I’m sending my brothers. I went through a few books and pulled out current major leaguers, and was surprised by how many players are no longer in the majors. So, I decided to send 5 to current Red Sox, 5 to current Yankees, and 10 to regular major leaguers. (they are the control group if I remember my scientific method correctly). I'm completely accepting of the fact that there is a very good chance I'm going 0-20.

I’m rambling today. Must be the ice coffee combined with the fact that it is FINALLY Friday.

We’ll start with the bad guys, move on to the neutral guys, and then onto to the good guys.

First up, Mr. Roger Clemens, (whose name I intentionally spelled wrong on the envelope for humor’s sake). I told Roger I liked watching him pitch as a Red Sox, and that “I hope your un-retirement works out just like I think it will”. As in, you average five runs and five innings a game while going 6-9. In A-Rod’s note, I wrote, “I really miss watching you play shortstop. I think that you would have been remembered as the best shortstop of all time”. Not that I would want to ruffle feathers between him and Derek. In Mo’s I told him that “Enter Sandman” was my favorite Metallica song and that I thought he was a great closer during the 2004 ALCS. In Jason Giambi’s, I told him I hope his foot heals faster than they think it will (because otherwise they will probably trade for Carlos Pena and I’d rather they didn’t). And, in Derek Jeter’s, I told him that he was a much better player than A-Rod. Those were very hard to write.

I told Barry Bonds that he has “set an incredible example for younger players”. If that’s not the truth. You too can cheat your way to 755.

Mike Sweeney, “you are my favorite player on the Royals”. That is 100% accurate. Of course, he’s tied with every other Royal for that position, but I left that out of my note.

In my collection (actually Paul’s collection), I found a sweet card with a very young Pedro and Ramon on it in Dodger Blue. Pedro looked badass and Ramon looked goofy and I’m pretty sure they both had mullets. I thanked Pedro for being so great for the Red Sox, and told him there was nothing like getting up in the morning and knowing we had Pedro going that night.

Edgar Renteira, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out here in Boston.” I am. Now I’m stuck with Julio Lugo who is more expensive and couldn’t hit his way out of a wet paper bag. I am sorry it didn’t work out. Your contract ends before his does.

Jason Schmidt and Randy Johnson got get well cards. I told Magglio Ordonez and Andruw Jones they were great outfielders and that I wished they had come up with the Sox. (Sorry Nancy).

I wrote to Pudge Rodriguez and told him he was a great catcher and congrats on catching a No-no and thanks for knocking the Yanks out last year.

Then came my notes to the Sox, which, were harder and took a lot more thought.

First up was Mike Timlin. I thanked him for ’04, and for being such a reliable set up man over the years and told him that us Sox fans were lucky to have him. (I left out that he makes me vomit slightly in my mouth)
I told Batshit Tavarez that it has been an absolute pleasure watching him this year and that we have the best #5 in baseball.

I told Manny that he was the best hitter I have ever seen (I sent him a card of him on the Indians, which, was the only one I have).

I confessed to Mike Lowell that he was my favorite Red Sox and that he really needed to resign with the Sox to keep my mental health stable. (well, I left out the mental health part, but I did tell him I hoped he’d finish his career with the Sox).

I thanked Tim Wakefield for being such a leader with the Red Sox both on the field and in the community.

So there the 20 are. I’m going to send them out with tomorrow’s mail, and we’ll see how many I get back.

Tonight we have Dice-K and Greg Maddux. I feel like I haven’t seen Dice-K pitch in weeks. I’m excited!

Links Links everywhere!

*The Sox had a solid weekend in Arizona, although the bats are still quieter than I would like. Joshua dominated Friday, Julian took care of buisness, and Dice-K pitched good enough to win yesterday, says Jeff Horrigan. The Sox have today off, and get back at it on Tuesday they host the Rockies, and Soxgal.

*If you haven't read Curt's recap of his near no-no, please do so immediately.

*The Sox are now 40-22 on the season, and 9.5 up on the 2nd place New York Yankees, and 11.5 up on the last place Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

*After 6 weeks as #1 upon the ESPN Power Rankings, the Sox dropped to 2nd, with the Padres taking over the top slot.

*The Nuggets had a rough week, with J.R. Smith being thrown from a car during an accident and one of the passengers in the car having severe head injuries, and another Nugget DeeMar Johnson was tasered and arrested outside a night club.

*Julian Tavarez has his own cure to fix his own blister problem.

*Mike Reiss, as always has some good stuff.

*Chad Finn has a fun update. Including this tidbit via Peter Gammons:

"On April 20, Courtney Butcher of Worcester, Mass., a freshman at the University of New Hampshire, called her father, Jim, to talk about the Monster seats Jim had purchased for the family for the Sunday night game. Lowell was her favorite player. That night, right after Courtney talked to her father, she and three friends were killed in an automobile accident.

That Sunday night, Jim took his other children to the game. In the 4-HR inning, Lowell's shot went right to the Butcher family.The next day, a friend of the family called Sarah Stevenson of the Red Sox, who relayed the message to Lowell, and he signed a uniform with these words: "Courtney, May God Be With You, Rest in Peace." He also sent word to Jim Butcher that he would homer for Courtney. The wake was that Tuesday, April 24, and Lowell's uniform was draped over Courtney's coffin. That night, he homered against the Blue Jays."

*Jayson Stark ponders the question, is Curt Schilling the best pitcher to never win a Cy Young or pitch a no-hitter? I'm pasting the whole thing because I know not everyone has ESPN Insider.

Random thoughts, as we ponder the unique interleague magic of Rockies-Orioles:

IS CURT SCHILLING THE BEST PITCHER NEVER TO WIN A CY YOUNG OR PITCH A NO-HITTER?

Watching that Shannon Stewart single whoosh past Alex Cora on Thursday, I was struck by this thought: Can anyone think of a great pitcher who has done more specializing in the near-miss than Curt Schilling?

He has never pitched a no-hitter, but he has thrown three one-hitters. And among active pitchers only Randy Johnson and Mike Mussina (four apiece) have thrown more.

Schilling also has never won a Cy Young. But he has finished second three times. Among active pitchers, only Johnson, Roger Clemens, Pedro Martinez, Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine have more top-two finishes in the Cy voting than Schilling. But those guys have combined for 21 Cy Youngs, to Schilling's zero. In fact, according to baseball-reference.com, Schilling has the highest award-share voting score of any pitcher in history who has never won a Cy Young.

So if it sometimes seems as if all his great years have been trumped by someone else's great years, it's because they have.

He has won 20 games three times -- all of them in seasons when at least one other pitcher in his league won 20. He has struck out 300 hitters in a season three times -- two of them in years another pitcher in his league whiffed 300. And he has finished in the top three in his league in ERA nine times -- but never won an ERA title. So is timing everything in life, or what?

Have a nomination for some other great pitcher in the last 40 years (the era spanning the awarding of Cy Youngs in each league) who has never pitched a no-hitter or won a Cy? Send it along to uselessinfodept@yahoo.com. We can do a ranking in a future blog of the best pitchers ever in this funky category.

*My favorite blogger not named Schilling has updated a few times recently, Mr. Curtis Granderson. He has all kinds of good stuff.

*How did this guy only get a mild concussion and a sprained ankle?

*Lester is coming up to Fenway to throw with John Farrell and figure out a plan for the next few weeks.

*This Arizona columnist talks about how Curt is a jerk for not talking to them on Friday, because he owed it to the fans. A few things here:

- In the column, he says that Curt was traded to the Red Sox. He signed as a free agent. Maybe he doesn't want to talk to idiots.

- He also says he owes it to "the fans". The highest attendence in Arizona history was...Saturday night against the Red Sox? With Julian Tavarez starting? They didn't even sell out the clinching game of the World Series? I wouldn't worry too much about those "fans".

*Roger Goodell's myspace.

Even the New York Times loves Mike Lowell;

After Saturday’s game, he wore a gray T-shirt that said “Red Sox Strength.” When a reporter asked him what he had said to Derek Jeter as they walked back to toward second base after the injury to Mientkiewicz, Lowell answered with a deadpan look and a reference to Friday’s game.

“I told him I made one play off him yesterday and he has Wang hit me in the hand,” Lowell said.

When some listeners were not too sure how to take his remark, Lowell looked at one of the press credentials and finished his thought (and at least one of their articles) by adding, “ ‘Ha, ha, ha,’ he said jokingly.”

Ladies and Gentleman, your pitcher for this evening...

Starting at Middle Linebacker...

*Doug Mientkiewicz was kept overnight at Mass General last night with a concussion, cervical sprain, and a broken wrist. I am absolutely, 100% shocked the Yankee trainer didn't collar and board him and send him directly to the ambulance. It was entirely possible with the way his neck twisted and hit the pavement that he had broken something. Red Sox MLB had this to say, "I feel bad for Doug. You don't want anything like that happening. We go way back, I mean, I played against him when I was 15 years old in high school. We hit together this offseason, and I've got a lot of respect for him."

*Lowell also took out Robinson Cano who thought it was a "dirty" play but Joe Torre thought it was fine. Not that I care what either one of them think. Also, it says here Michael has a WS ring from 1998 for playing a few games for the Yanks that year.

*Here's the game report on a rough one at the Fens yesterday, where Curt pitched good enough to lose.

The Ramblings...

*To lead off for this latest batch of ramblings, some words about everyone's favorite dirt dog, who I did not talk nearly enough about this week. (I hate when my job gets in the way of my blogging).

- Being there when Trot was introduced quickly moved its way into my favorite Fenway moments. I won't keep you wondering...

1. The Sox coming back against the Yankees on Red Auerbach night and Ok-a-jima coming in for the save.
2. Walk off against the Texas Rangers last July.
3. First Red Sox game. 1990, and the Sox clinched the pennate.
4. Trot coming home.
5. Mother's Day walk-off earlier this year.

- I didn't get to see it till the next day, but the little ceremony for Trot and Kathryn honoring them for their work on the Jimmy Fund was nice. Dr. Steinberg loves stuff like that.

- Trot mic'd up for NESN before the game and him asking everyone whose path he crossed, "How's your family?" (how great is he?)

- I loved how Curt and Josh stood at the back of the mound and waited for Trot to get his ovation both of the first two games. Very nice.

- I did not love how Jonathan made the 9th interesting. So, we all know how Jonathan now comes into Wild Thing, and then when he gets to the mound, Shipping up to Boston comes on. Well, I guess the Shipping up to Boston thing was also Dr. Steinberg's idea...the thought Wild Thing wasn't indimidating enough. I could not disagree more. I was the 2nd Yankees game @ the Fens this year, and when Wild Thing came on, everyone went absolutely nuts, then, the song ended when the batter came up, and everyone kept singing another line or two. That, combined with the best closer in the game and a 96 mile an hour fastball is intimidating.

*Mr. President of bush league and Mrs. Rodriguez took a walk around Boston Common yesteray. Mrs. A-Rod rushed to his side in Boston, and had dinner with him last night at Grill 23 before heading back to the Ritz. I'm sure the blond was his assistant. (be sure to click on the pictures in that last link).

*As for the Red Sox, I mean, could anyone have wished for anything more 50 games in? I don't think so. Everything is just going well. I'm sure we'll cross our rough patches, but this team is the real deal. (::dodging lightening bolts::)

*Just for the record, I am 11-4 this season. After starting out 0-2, I have rebounded nicely. Also, I am 6-0 in May. That my friends, is a .733 winning percentage.

*Shaughnessy says that Red would have liked A-Rod's yell against the Jays. No word on whether he would have liked the blond.

*Pat's had passing camp yesterday. They also announced Training Camp will start on the 27th.

I have missed that lovely gray cut off sweatshirt Bill.

*A large continegent of media was there to catch Randy Moss. Mike Reiss's notebook has the players still shocked and saddened by the loss of Marquise Hill, and also talks about where Adalius Thomas will fit in with the linebacker corps. Karen Guregian also has the Pats dealing with losing Hill.

*Former Patriot OG Joe Andruzzi has been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and has begun treatment at Dana-Faber in Boston. Thoughts and prayers for him.

*LeBron has taken over the Cavs / Piston's series, scoring 48 last night, and 29 of his teams last 30 points (what!?!). The Cavs now lead the Pistons 3-2 after starting off 0-2. If the Piston's lose, I'd like to ask the fine City of Detroit to not burn down the Ritz Carlton, and if the Piston's win, I'd like to ask the fine City of Detroit to not burn down the Ritz Carlton.

*Billy Donovan is jumping ship at Florida and heading to coach the Orlando Magic. I have a few problems with this. But mainly just one. All those kids on Florida should be free to transfer. You get recruited by the best coach in college basketball and then he rides off into the sunset. You should be able to, too. Either that, or all coaches who want to change jobs should have to sit out a season.

*One reason why fantasy baseball makes being a fan more and less fun all at once. Carlos Betran is going for an MRI today after he left the game last night following a collision. You can guess whose fantasy team Carlos suits up for.

(This is a real tragedy for my team. We are currently only 6 points out of 7th place {we're moving on up}. I had a good meeting with my pitching staff the other night, followed by them pitching 17 scoreless innings on Wednesday night. Manny is starting to come around, and now we have to deal with the injury bug).

*Former Celtics Assistant Coach Jim O'Brien has been named head coach of the Pacers. I always liked him. And his K-Mart suits.

*Good article by Pat Forde on the Arkansas AD Frank Broyles.

*An NFL study links concussions to depression. I'm shocked having multiple brain injuries and having your brain bleed can cause complications down the road. Really. I'm shocked.

*I feel really bad for the Steeler's coach who forwarded the porn. I mean, he's 61...a grandfather, and he said, "I'm not very good at these machines and I hit the wrong button". Poor guy, he's not very good at these machines!

*A list of other baseball players and their girlfriends. (Well not really)

*Tony Romo and Carrie Underwood through?

A source to the Enquirer said Romo had made the same request for space previously, but this time "Carrie thought that they were moving closer to a more committed relationship." Romo's latest move means the coupling is likely over, as "Carrie wants a firm commitment from Tony."

UPDATE: The NATIONAL LEDGER reports Ted Casablanca of E! Online is claiming Jessica Simpson is to blame for the breakup: "Tony invited (Jessica) to Dallas, and she’s going. Of course, he doesn’t want Carrie to find out." The two are reportedly "already spending lots of time together, as in entire weekends."

*I was reading "suggestions" for heckles today at boston.com, and here are a few of my favorites...

-Half your assets (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap)

-Where's your stripper?

-Stray-Rod

-Joslyn (the reported name of the girlfriend)

-Mine whenever there is a pop-up (obviously)

-Someone else suggested an uncomfortably long standing ovation. If we could get everyone together on this, I'd be a big fan.

-Someone else suggested a blond wig and taping one dollar bills to yourself. (love this one)

-Everyone else was saying we should stick with the classic, "Where is Roger?" but I think that has to be held out till we are going for the sweep. Then we can ask why Torre is holding Roger for the all important White Sox series.

*Okay, hopefully this extended blog update makes up for my week of slacking. I'll be at Fenway tonight for Wang @ Wake. Hopefully the knuckler will be dancing this evening. And if it isn't, can we at least bring Donnelly in in relief to throw one at A-Rod's rib cage?

Quote of the Day

"I'm surprised and I think it's bush. You don't do that. If the umpire was on the ball, he'd have probably called him out and kicked the guy out of the ballgame. I never heard of such a thing. I'm surprised at A-Rod. He didn't strike me as being that kind of player, but for God sakes, he's done so many bush things this year, I'm a little suspect of him now," - Johnny Pesky.

Even the NY Daily News is hopping on Stray-Rod bandwagon. This has all kinds of good gossip.

Just another reason why A-Rod is a complete tool...

#482

I don't know why the video won't post here, but you can go to the link here.

*And, for good measure, A-Rod being chased for autographs by a bunch of kids wearing Jeter shirts.

Thank you Mr. Hill...

36-15!?!?

*Someone is going to be in the dog house.

*Trot Nixon deserves the tip of a dirty hat. The only other time I've heard applause that loud was when the Sox came back against the Yankees and Okajima got the save earlier in the year. It was awesome.

*The Sox right now, it appears, can do no wrong. Josh Beckett came back from his 15 days on the DL and got his MLB leading 8th victory.

*Roger Clemens will not make his first start against the Sox, and the Red Sox are skipping Tavarez's start to align their rotation against the Yanks. It will be Wang and Wake Friday, Moose and Schill Saturday, and Andy and Joshua on Sunday. Tavarez's next start will be against the A's on Monday, with Matsuzaka taking the ball the following day. (Also in there it says Ortiz took BP yesterday, but his hammy is still bothering him.)

Not much to talk about with no game last night. The Sox are in Dallas (bored, I'd imagine), and Dice-K is on the hill tonight. Everyone have a good weekend. I'll check in if anything big happens this weekend, otherwise, see you Tuesday.

Go Senators!

*LeBron almost beat the Pistons again. He takes the shot in game 1 and gets the foul call in game 2, this whole series could be different. Or, so I've been told. Haven't actually watched one minute.

*Youk is great.

*Sean McAdam says the Sox have three weaknesses...J.D. Drew, the bullpen, and CF.

*Did A-Rod apologize to Pedroia? Does anyone care?

*John Smoltz got his 200th and denied Tom Glavine the chance to move closer to 300.

*NFL security is offering to help Virginia in the Vick dog fighting case.

*Things got fiesty in Florida last night between the Marlins and Phillies.

*Jeter passed Joe Dimaggio on the all time Yankee hit list. That's crazy.

*Josh Hancock's dad is suing the restaurant that he says, "overserved" his son. I don't think it's the bar's fault, I think it's Josh's fault, but I'm sure his dad is angry and I really can't blame him here.

*I can't believe Nick Saban did something scummy. That seems so unlike him.

*Brett Myers hurt his shoulder last night. Karma's a bitch.

Cute quote of the day...

"It doesn't matter. I could throw a perfect game and in my next start throw a perfect game... Jon Lester comes back here and this job belongs to him. . . . That lefthander is going to be one of the greatest in baseball.. . . I'd be more than happy to give him his position. This is not about being the No. 5 starter or about hoping that Jon Lester doesn't come here quick. If there's one thing that I want in my life right now it's that Jon be healthy and come back and play for this team because he's going to help us get to the World Series." Julian Tavarez